When You Close Your Eyes

I felt so sad when I looked at my grandma's black and white picture at the funeral. There was a huge knot in my throat. I've never had somebody close to me die. I looked from the picture to the coffin. I imagined my grandma lying in there. A body that didn't move any more. It really got me thinking and believing that "life" is such a miracle. The ability to move, feel, communicate, and think.

It was difficult for me to be at the funeral. I just kept staring at her picture. I kept replaying how my grandma was when she was alive over and over inside my head. It was like watching an old videotape.

I kneeled in front of the coffin, closed my eyes and started talking to her inside my head. I said I missed her. I said that I hope she was OK. I thanked her for being my grandma and that I was happy to be her niece.