I'm currently in Singapore right now. Gonna be here till December 4th. I am exhausted. I have been working like 12-13 hours everyday and even on weekends sometimes. I'll be glad when this seminar and meeting is over with next week.

I'm trying to get the feeling of how life will be like when I move here in January. I'll most likely be here for the next two years. I kinda don't mind that I don't really know anybody here. In a way I like it because I feel that I can really spend time by myself and kinda do my own thing. I don't think I've ever really gotten used to spending time with myself so I hope that I can do that here.

I'm also trying to bring my dog to Singapore but it sounds so complicated. I'm reading all these stuff online and it's really stressing me out.

Sleepy.

When I reflect back on what I've accomplished over the past year, I think I can say wholeheartedly that I am proud of myself.

But I know I still have issues that I can't really put my hands on and I'm still not really sure how to fix it because I don't understand why I feel that way, if that even makes any sense...

Maybe in Singapore when I have more time on my own I'll finally have time to write that book also.

I like that song All the Right Moves by One Republic.

I like walking down the street in Singapore where nobody knows me and I don't know anybody.

Anyway, I'm looking for apartments tomorrow. I hope I can find a nice place.

Everything is Illuminated

I love the title of this book.

I just came back from Dhaka, Bangladesh last Thursday and took a day off on Friday to get my toe checked out at the hospital. I slipped off a sidewalk there and scraped my toe during a field visit to a government preschool, it was bleeding more than usual over there and the wound was turning black. Normally I probably wouldn't go to the hospital but being that it was Dhaka and the roads were so dusty and dirtier than Bangkok, I decided to get it cleaned properly just to be safe. So I got a tetanus shot and have to get two more later.

It's Loy Krathong today but I'm not in a festive mood at all. Not that I would normally be joyously celebrating it or anything. I've been feeling pretty blah lately. Blah meaning sometimes sad but I'm not really sure why either. It's weird not really knowing the reasons why I feel sad. Or maybe I do. Maybe one reason is because I'm worried about my mom. It makes me sad every time I think she's going to be alone. I don't like thinking of old people being alone. It really makes me depressed. I still haven't decided yet about whether I'm going. I remember watching Up and it made me so sad.

I also worry about Ginger and her health. I'll try my best to bring her to Singapore.

These days I feel lazy about going out to meet people too. I feel like just staying in. Maybe it's my PSP.

I really like the title, Everything is Illuminated. I don't really know yet the entire meaning behind the title because I haven't finished the book, but it gives me such a hopeful feeling, that everything CAN be happy and OK. Or that everything has a value and can be meaningful.

It's basically about an American guy going to the Ukraine to find this girl who saved his grandfather's life during Nazi occupation. I always wonder a bit about how it would be like to trace back my family's history, all the way back to my great-great-great-great-great grandparents. I never really thought of them much, but I think it would be nice to know who they were and what they did. Maybe it's sort of like paying respect to the dead, by remembering them still in my memory. Thinking of my grandmother who died last year still makes me sad. Thinking of my mom gone would be really painful. I do remember my great-grandmother and remember how she was such a sweet old lady. I also realize that my mother, my grandmother and my great-grandmother all kind of share this similar aura around them. I mean, they look similar, but it's not just that. I don't know how to describe it. I don't know how to explain how the air around them can feel so familiar to me.

I'm also thinking about taking my mom to Hong Kong for a weekend in December.

Sometimes I just don't know. Sometimes one feeling gets so overwhelming.

I watched this anime called Kimi ni Todoke (Reaching You) and I really like it because the girl has problems expressing herself and everybody around her misunderstands her. Sometimes I feel the same way.