The Landmark Forum
For those of you who wondered where the heck I was hiding this past weekend, I was taking a class about life, which lasted from 9 AM to 11 PM Friday, Saturday, and Sunday plus Tuesday, from 7 PM to 11 PM.
I know, it sounds crazy huh? Almost cultish to a certain degree. But I thought, I’m taking guitar classes, painting classes, why not one about life too? Alice introduced me to the Landmark Forum, she’s really into it, and she truly believes that taking the class really inspires you. Some of you may have heard of it, some of you may have not. I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty open-minded person, but like all others, I also immediately jumped to the conclusion that it’s just a business trying to reap benefits from other people’s misery. But I don’t know, I also think that if it does help people, then there’s nothing wrong with that, right? So the person who wanted to learn more won, I decided to take the class to see what this whole thing was about. Plus, I wasn’t busy or anything. So, why not? Deep down, I also hoped it would make me feel better about everything that happened in the last couple months.
On Friday morning, I was really disappointed, because it just sounded like another sales pitch where the Forum Leader was trying to sell me more classes to learn. Before lunch, she said that if anybody wanted to leave, we could now, and that they will refund all the money. Nobody left. I didn’t leave. But for a second, I did think about getting my money back and going back to sleep or work. I thought, why am I missing work to come to this?
Was I glad that I stayed? I guess. I definitely learned a lot of new concepts and perspectives, so I thought that was good (I’ll share them later). And it was also like reading a self-development book, but actually using the stuff you read and taking action as compared to just reading and thinking, yeah I think that’s a good idea, but no action.
Basically, this Forum is about transformation. Not changes. People can never be happy if you keep trying to change something, change yourself, and fix things. On the other hand, transformation is where you can create a realm of possibilities.
You know, throughout this whole Forum, I certainly thought it sounded like stuff I actually know or are just plain common sense. But I think people actually need to hear these things in order to really get it.
She talked a lot about breakthroughs, but I think I’ve had my breakthroughs already before I entered the Forum because of all the crap I had to deal with the last two months. I took actions to a certain extent with regards to my life already, although I knew I took more actions after this whole thing too.
Breakthroughs don’t occur until you’ve had a breakdown. That was the last thing she said on Tuesday. So I was right in a way since I had a major breakdown in August. The breakdowns, create possibilities. A vacuum was created. Space was created. And from that space, you know that anything can be possible for your future. So despite the breakdown, I knew I was excited. And in a really weird way, although it was damn hard to admit at that time, happy.
There were around 200 people taking the class, but I don’t think it had a huge impact on me as it did compared to others. But I think that’s also a part of my personality though, where I need to have all the explanations and reasons there for me before I can understand and admit that it’s true. It’s as though I can’t accept a theory, without analyzing it from all angles first.
A lot of people that came to the Forum, did not have problems. As in, I would probably say that a majority of the people that participated were pretty content with their life and accepted how things were, how they were, how life was. Of course, I could be wrong. There’s always something wrong with somebody’s life. But I also think it’s this acceptance mentality, that’s kind of wrong too. I accept you for who you are, I accept myself for who I am, I accept the circumstances, bullshit. Is this true happiness, I wonder? Is this denial? I don’t think people should ever accept things for how things are because that acceptance causes people to become static with life.
This weekend was really tiring for me. I felt like I didn’t sleep at all. And this was the weekend also where I started to drink coffee a lot. Yeah, that’s how tired I was. I could literally feel the stress in my stomach. It also made me wonder whether the Forum was scheduled like this to make participants feel so tired.
Poorani said we are all meaning-making machines. Life is empty and meaningless. Those two sentences really stung me. I am not a machine. Life is neither empty nor meaningless. And I questioned her and those two sentences like hell.
I asked, why we have to separate our selves, and life. It’s like the two sentences were meant to be a paradox or something. I get it, but I also don’t. I asked if she was talking about the word life as an etymology, or what life symbolizes as an epistemology.
Yes, the meaning-making machine inside me is working. But I still also refuse to think of myself as just a machine, created for a purpose?
She said, Nid, you’re a smart girl. Stop finding reasons. You can figure this out. You already know this. Just be present.
Almost time for lunch, will continue later…
I know, it sounds crazy huh? Almost cultish to a certain degree. But I thought, I’m taking guitar classes, painting classes, why not one about life too? Alice introduced me to the Landmark Forum, she’s really into it, and she truly believes that taking the class really inspires you. Some of you may have heard of it, some of you may have not. I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty open-minded person, but like all others, I also immediately jumped to the conclusion that it’s just a business trying to reap benefits from other people’s misery. But I don’t know, I also think that if it does help people, then there’s nothing wrong with that, right? So the person who wanted to learn more won, I decided to take the class to see what this whole thing was about. Plus, I wasn’t busy or anything. So, why not? Deep down, I also hoped it would make me feel better about everything that happened in the last couple months.
On Friday morning, I was really disappointed, because it just sounded like another sales pitch where the Forum Leader was trying to sell me more classes to learn. Before lunch, she said that if anybody wanted to leave, we could now, and that they will refund all the money. Nobody left. I didn’t leave. But for a second, I did think about getting my money back and going back to sleep or work. I thought, why am I missing work to come to this?
Was I glad that I stayed? I guess. I definitely learned a lot of new concepts and perspectives, so I thought that was good (I’ll share them later). And it was also like reading a self-development book, but actually using the stuff you read and taking action as compared to just reading and thinking, yeah I think that’s a good idea, but no action.
Basically, this Forum is about transformation. Not changes. People can never be happy if you keep trying to change something, change yourself, and fix things. On the other hand, transformation is where you can create a realm of possibilities.
You know, throughout this whole Forum, I certainly thought it sounded like stuff I actually know or are just plain common sense. But I think people actually need to hear these things in order to really get it.
She talked a lot about breakthroughs, but I think I’ve had my breakthroughs already before I entered the Forum because of all the crap I had to deal with the last two months. I took actions to a certain extent with regards to my life already, although I knew I took more actions after this whole thing too.
Breakthroughs don’t occur until you’ve had a breakdown. That was the last thing she said on Tuesday. So I was right in a way since I had a major breakdown in August. The breakdowns, create possibilities. A vacuum was created. Space was created. And from that space, you know that anything can be possible for your future. So despite the breakdown, I knew I was excited. And in a really weird way, although it was damn hard to admit at that time, happy.
There were around 200 people taking the class, but I don’t think it had a huge impact on me as it did compared to others. But I think that’s also a part of my personality though, where I need to have all the explanations and reasons there for me before I can understand and admit that it’s true. It’s as though I can’t accept a theory, without analyzing it from all angles first.
A lot of people that came to the Forum, did not have problems. As in, I would probably say that a majority of the people that participated were pretty content with their life and accepted how things were, how they were, how life was. Of course, I could be wrong. There’s always something wrong with somebody’s life. But I also think it’s this acceptance mentality, that’s kind of wrong too. I accept you for who you are, I accept myself for who I am, I accept the circumstances, bullshit. Is this true happiness, I wonder? Is this denial? I don’t think people should ever accept things for how things are because that acceptance causes people to become static with life.
This weekend was really tiring for me. I felt like I didn’t sleep at all. And this was the weekend also where I started to drink coffee a lot. Yeah, that’s how tired I was. I could literally feel the stress in my stomach. It also made me wonder whether the Forum was scheduled like this to make participants feel so tired.
Poorani said we are all meaning-making machines. Life is empty and meaningless. Those two sentences really stung me. I am not a machine. Life is neither empty nor meaningless. And I questioned her and those two sentences like hell.
I asked, why we have to separate our selves, and life. It’s like the two sentences were meant to be a paradox or something. I get it, but I also don’t. I asked if she was talking about the word life as an etymology, or what life symbolizes as an epistemology.
Yes, the meaning-making machine inside me is working. But I still also refuse to think of myself as just a machine, created for a purpose?
She said, Nid, you’re a smart girl. Stop finding reasons. You can figure this out. You already know this. Just be present.
Almost time for lunch, will continue later…
Labels: theories + philosophy
posted by hoopskratchz at
11:41 AM
1 Comments:
i'm really enjoying your blog. i could be your potential "follower." hehehe.
and yes, i read the "suit" post. i think it doesn't matter really what you're wearing, as long as the piece is timeless and works for you. ;P
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