Memories
Last night two of my friends, Christian and Anna, from Germany came to visit Thailand and I took them to eat at Thon Kreung restaurant on Thong Lor for dinner. It's not the best Thai restaurant in my opinion but I couldn't think of any other proper restaurants that weren't too expensive. We then jumped across the street to Le Notre to indulge in some chocolates.
I met them when I was in New York back in 2006 so it's been 2 years already since we last hung out. I don't think I can sum up how I feel about New York and the people I met there that easily, but all my life I wanted to search for a place where I belonged, a place where I was a part of something. I connected with a few people during high school and we still remain the best of friends, I rushed and pledged for a sorority during college because I wanted to experience that so-called sisterhood, but despite the amount of people I surround myself with, I still felt empty, unsatisfied and alone. It was an unusual place like New York that I found solace. In a city crawling with millions of people, I found that group of people who made me feel happy every single day. It made me forget why I was sometimes depressed because they made me feel less insignificant. It's still difficult for me to talk to Toey and my friends here about my depression because sometimes I just want them to have this memory of me smiling, carefree and cheerful. It was a mask that I wore so easily back in high school but which started crumbling once I hit college. I just don't want to be a burden. That introvert and extrovert sides of me are always pulling me in half. Sometimes I forget what persona I should wear today.
But New York, those were truly good times. Jeff's sushi eating contest/soup money, Melissa's coffee breaks for some girl talk, Christian's phone message, Shane's goofiness/big white glasses, Scott's Fantastic Four, Corinna's DC adventure/sisterly talks, Julien's lovely French accent, Anna's smile, and of course, Phil's German lessons/talks walking home. I was their Special K. Those were unrivalled times.
I met them when I was in New York back in 2006 so it's been 2 years already since we last hung out. I don't think I can sum up how I feel about New York and the people I met there that easily, but all my life I wanted to search for a place where I belonged, a place where I was a part of something. I connected with a few people during high school and we still remain the best of friends, I rushed and pledged for a sorority during college because I wanted to experience that so-called sisterhood, but despite the amount of people I surround myself with, I still felt empty, unsatisfied and alone. It was an unusual place like New York that I found solace. In a city crawling with millions of people, I found that group of people who made me feel happy every single day. It made me forget why I was sometimes depressed because they made me feel less insignificant. It's still difficult for me to talk to Toey and my friends here about my depression because sometimes I just want them to have this memory of me smiling, carefree and cheerful. It was a mask that I wore so easily back in high school but which started crumbling once I hit college. I just don't want to be a burden. That introvert and extrovert sides of me are always pulling me in half. Sometimes I forget what persona I should wear today.
But New York, those were truly good times. Jeff's sushi eating contest/soup money, Melissa's coffee breaks for some girl talk, Christian's phone message, Shane's goofiness/big white glasses, Scott's Fantastic Four, Corinna's DC adventure/sisterly talks, Julien's lovely French accent, Anna's smile, and of course, Phil's German lessons/talks walking home. I was their Special K. Those were unrivalled times.
Labels: randomness
posted by hoopskratchz at
10:57 AM
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