Monday, February 2, 2009

How to Move On

It looks like I’ll be going to Malaysia on April 13-15 for work. I think I’ll take a few extra days beforehand or after the seminar to look around since I didn’t get to explore KL at all the last time I was there.

I’m really looking forward to all these trips abroad. I’m also planning on taking my mom to Hong Kong. She’s been nagging me about this since last year. I was thinking of going to Japan (Osaka, Kyoto) but since it’s a weekend trip I think somewhere close by would be better. Plus, I have to see first whether I can stand her for a short period of time before I start thinking about spending a week with her in Japan.

I was reading this book called Why We Love by Helen Fisher last night. She gave some pretty useful tips on how to move on from a breakup. So something to do and think about (This by no means reflect what I’ve done in the past few months. I’m just repeating what she said):

1. Throw away everything or put everything that reminds you of him/her in a box. I actually think this is a very important thing to do. Erase all traces of their existence. I guess there’s no point in keeping it lying around when you’re trying to reconstruct your life, is there? Did I do this? No.

2. Meditation. I haven’t tried this yet either. But my friend at work is going so I might tag along. I don’t even like Yoga and I’m sure it follows the same principles. Anyway, I’ll check it out. I think this would be beneficial for me in more than one way.

3. Keep busy. Yes! Take drawing classes, learn how to play the guitar, go out with friends, write a short story, join a club, go volunteer at an orphanage, go shopping, travel, go to the gym. Staying active keeps your mind off things and raises the level of dopamine (the chemical that makes you happy). Doing things that makes you feel rewarded or accomplished will make you happy. It was mentioned that exercising is the best way to raise the levels of dopamine. I’ve been going to the gym everyday (well at least 6 days a week) but I think this has become a habit more than anything else now. Plus, I’ve become such a health junkie (it’s driving Nick insane. I think the next time I look at the calorie count of a drink or food he’s going to smack me).

4. Avoid places you used to hang out. Go to new restaurants, stay clear of the usual neighborhoods, or join a new gym. I was a complete failure at this.

5. Be angry. She did say that focusing on his or her negative points will help. It doesn’t matter if you guys broke up on good terms or whether he was honorable or not. It just doesn’t matter. Did I do this? No.

There were a few more points that she said but I can’t remember them.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's a shame you didn't follow all these recommendations... things could have been a lot easier i'm sure. not only for you but me too.

February 2, 2009 at 9:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those are some pretty decent tips, Kanitha. I've recently read an article on a blog called "thinksimplenow" and it has some very good advices on relationships and how to get over breakups too. I think it's well worth a read... check it out if you have time (link)! Take care.

February 2, 2009 at 11:04 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I always do #1 and #4. I think it really helps. My exes also tend to conveniently disappear from my life. It's kinda sad, but then I guess it just means that we really weren't meant to be a part of each other's lives.

February 5, 2009 at 10:48 AM  

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